just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
