Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
