ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
