so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
