i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everything about him screamed your future.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
