absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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