Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
