Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
