New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize