i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My feet surprised me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
