I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
