Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
