i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
