I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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