pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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