two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're a waste of cheezeits
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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