you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
