Im at strip club and am horny
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
