She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
