There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize