We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
