It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
