"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
