Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
