At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Boobs speak an international language.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
