cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize