I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
