when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
