Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize