I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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