My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
