Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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