How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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