idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my phone needs a breathalizer
i think my mom watched the whole time
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
