i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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