She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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