In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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