girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
