I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
