Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
