At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
