U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
