Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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