brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My sheets look like a crime scene.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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