she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
