if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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