There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize