Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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