I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
