The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Someone shit on the floor
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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