You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
