we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
