carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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