Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
