Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
