My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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