I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
