I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hippo gnu deer
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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