What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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