Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
