Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
