I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
