Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
