My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize