Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
