Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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