he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
