According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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